The world can be a boring place if we have been all the identical. Studying about cultural variations is fascinating and enjoyable. However generally it may be complicated, particularly when cultural variations come throughout as impolite. I just lately wrote an article on 13 issues vacationers try this get unusual seems from the French, however right here we’re not speaking about more odd issues. Immediately, we’re specializing in American habits and norms that may come throughout rudely to French individuals.
First, cultural habits usually are not inherently good or dangerous. Once we have a look at them by way of the lens of our personal tradition and life experiences, we will understand them to be impolite, well mannered, or good or dangerous. However they’re simply variations and I believe it’s essential to not place judgment on them. We are able to be taught, adapt, and attempt to be a very good visitor after we’re overseas and go from there.
I additionally suppose it’s essential to level out that nobody tries to be impolite. I imply, certain, all of us can have a nasty day, however People doing the issues under in France aren’t deliberate efforts to be disrespectful. Similar to French individuals who don’t tip within the U.S. They aren’t attempting to be impolite, but when they don’t know what American tipping norms are, it comes throughout rudely once you stiff the waiter. Don’t fear, the reverse put up is coming quickly on what French issues People discover impolite. You understand, stability and all. 😉
It goes with out saying as effectively that not each American engages within the habits under and never each French individual will discover these items impolite.
Anyway, I believe schooling on cultural norms goes a good distance and impacts how we’re perceived overseas. If we will do our half by studying what we will forward of time and being conscious of our personal biases and habits, it’s solely going to be a very good factor and assist us to have higher interactions with the French.
8 American habits the French discover impolite:
1. Being superficially pleasant and never following by way of on plans to “go for a espresso someday.”
Whereas possibly it’s not essentially the most socially endearing factor to do, People say issues like, “We’ll should go for a espresso quickly, okay??” after which by no means go on to make precise plans. This is usually a bit complicated to foreigners who take the pleasant suggestion actually. A number of French individuals have advised me about occasions when this occurred to them within the U.S. They’re nonetheless ready for that buddy to name them as a result of they mentioned a couple of months in the past that, “We should always get collectively someday!” It comes throughout tremendous rudely.
I believe most People imply effectively and are simply being pleasant. Casually throwing round concepts for future plans is simply one thing individuals say within the second. Positive, some individuals do it insincerely, however I’d wager that most individuals who say issues like this and by no means make it occur simply get busy with life and don’t make it a precedence. However the French individual takes it actually as a result of in French tradition, in the event you say one thing like that, you imply it and it’s not one thing you allow up within the air.
In the event you’ve met somebody who says one thing like this, take the lead and be the one to contact them to arrange concrete plans. That means you aren’t left questioning.
2. Saying “mm-hmm” or “uh-huh” for you’re welcome.
One thing you’ll hear in america as a substitute of “you’re welcome” is a “mm-hmm” or “uh-huh.” It’s normally in response to a small favor like holding the door for somebody. We wouldn’t say “mm-hmmm” if somebody thanked us for saving their life, however for a small process or favor, “mm-hmm” is a standard reply. It’s sort of like “no worries” or “yup, I’ve obtained it” or “no downside” and only a very informal option to say “you’re welcome.” It’s not impolite in any respect on this context.
However I’ve seen from my YouTube feedback after I mentioned this in a social norms video that French individuals (and different nationalities) discover the American “mm-hmm” impolite, virtually such as you’re saying “after all you’d higher be thanking me for serving to you.” However that’s not what it’s in any respect.
3. Asking foolish questions that reinforce stereotypes.
It’s one factor to be genuinely curious and ask respectful questions, but it surely’s one other factor totally to say issues like, “I heard the French eat snails and frogs. How are you going to eat one thing so disgusting?” or “Are you certain you’re French… you’re fats!” (I really heard this one in individual and virtually did a spit take). You get the thought. Simply… no.
4. Making “jokes” like, “You’d all be talking German if it wasn’t for us People.”
Are you aware what number of occasions I’ve heard an American say some model of this or make reference to a white flag (of give up)? Too many to depend. I see it ALL the time on my YouTube channel and a member of the family even mentioned it to Tom as soon as years in the past, apparently all in good enjoyable. Besides it’s extraordinarily impolite, disrespectful, and gained’t be effectively acquired.
Cease with the World Warfare II references. You and the individual you’re speaking to most likely had zero private hand in WWII. All this does is reinforce French individuals’s Ugly American stereotypes and we don’t want any extra of that.
5. Compliments that result in asking how a lot one thing value.
In some areas of the U.S., it’s fairly commonplace when out and about for individuals to go with others they don’t know as a way of small discuss. Folks even ask the place a stranger may need purchased one thing and the way a lot it value. Whereas it would get below some People’ pores and skin too, the very fact is that it occurs. However not in France.
This type of factor happens fairly continuously after I’m in FL and I keep in mind a couple of cases of overly pleasant individuals asking the place I purchased one thing when my dad and I visited Georgia and different southern states on a street journey. These have been at all times individuals I didn’t know. I used to be requested the place I purchased the bag I used to be carrying in addition to a bracelet. PEOPLE, USE GOOGLE FOR THAT!
Being advised by somebody that they appreciated my bag was good and appreciated however why not depart it there? Asking me how a lot it value made the scenario to show 5 shades of awkward actually quick. In France, change awkward with impolite. Small discuss is a high quality artwork in France, so save the extra private questions for individuals . The French draw a line between the private and non-private sphere and don’t cross it out of respect.
6. Making meals substitutions at a elaborate restaurant
Meals allergic reactions apart, in the event you’re consuming at a high-end French restaurant, order your dish with out making any substitutions. Meals substitutions that deviate from what’s written on the menu are performed means much less in France than within the U.S. Asking for the chef to arrange your meal with out one of many key elements he/she selected simply since you don’t look after it isn’t at all times potential or appreciated.
It comes throughout such as you’re saying, “I do know higher than you, educated French chef who put effort and time into bringing the proper flavors and textures to this dish. I don’t respect the meals the best way you made it.”
Right here’s a private instance. I didn’t suppose I appreciated capers however I went with it. Once I tried them as an accent on an expertly ready dish at a Michelin-starred restaurant, they have been the proper complement and scrumptious. One other instance is after I’ve seen vacationers, effectively heard them really, asking for his or her steak effectively performed at restaurant that may stay anonymous. The chef personally got here out to the desk to elucidate how insulting it will be to overcook the meat. So belief the chef. The client will not be at all times proper!
Now let me make clear one factor. French cooks usually are not monsters. However they take pleasure of their work so it’s greatest to respect that. In the event you’re consuming at an informal restaurant and a pizza comes with an egg, which is frequent, you may ask for it with out the egg, no downside. Or a salad with out olives or one thing like that. That gained’t be a difficulty. I’m speaking about eating places which are extra gastronomy centered and every meal is a creation.
7. Beginning a dialog with out saying bonjour
This one will get you in sizzling water. At all times, ALWAYS say bonjour in France when approaching anybody for something, regardless of how small. Say it earlier than you say excuse me and undoubtedly earlier than you ask for instructions or ask a query. I’ve talked about this at size, so learn this put up on why bonjour is an important phrase in France for extra context.
8. Taking pictures of issues with out asking.
In busy touristy areas, it’s solely regular to take pictures of belongings you see that curiosity you, together with individuals. More often than not you gained’t have any points as vacationers (don’t {photograph} police/army) so go nuts taking pics of the Mona Lisa, the Eiffel Tower, and all the good things you see alongside the best way.
However in the event you’re in a much less crowded space on the road and even in a retailer or on the market, it’s a unique story… sure, even in public. If you wish to take a photograph of an individual or one thing they’re promoting, the well mannered factor to do is to ask first. If the picture goes to be shared or used commercially, it goes past simply being well mannered. It’s really the regulation. Learn up on the droits à l’picture in France.
In the event you’re a vacationer, not asking gained’t get you arrested or something, however I’ve been scolded for taking a photograph of a vendor’s paella on the market with out asking first. In France, concentrate on the general public’s proper to privateness.
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What regular American habits would you add to my checklist of what the French would possibly discover impolite? Keep tuned for the reverse put up of what French habits People discover impolite!
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